Thursday, March 10, 2005


Cairo, March 10 – Day Before the Show

This afternoon 2pm I was fast asleep and Natalia wakes me up.
“Said’s on the phone”
I found this strange because he doesn’t usually wake up until 3 or 4.
“Hey Said, how’s it going?”
“I didn’t sleep all night – I’m very angry”
“What happened?”
“I went to the Sawy Cultural Center and there are no poster around. It looks like there’s no show. All I saw were advertisements for an oud concert on the same day.”
“Oh shit – Rami will call the Sawy Cultural Center and straighten it out.”
“Ein Sh’alla”
“Ein Sh’alla”

Rami calls Mr. Sawy (the director of the center) and speaks to his secretary:
“Hello, this is Rami”
“Oh Rami, I’m glad you called. There’s something urgent - Mr. Sawy needs to speak to you right away”
“Why, is there some problem”
“Well,,,,uh,,,,,,,what exactly is your and Raquy’s nationalities?”
“We need to see your passports. Please bring them by right away.”

All this before we’ve had any coffee or anything!
I was starting to think that this show wasn’t gonna happen.

Said, Rami and I and Mr. Sawy decided to have a meeting at 4:00. We raced over to the center, and as we approached we saw a HUGE poster with GIANT pictures of me and Said and the details of the show. “How could Said have missed this” I asked.

Said wasn’t there when we arrived so they first dealt with the passport thing. They just took both our passports, looked them over, Xeroxed the front page a few times, made us sign the copies and gave us our passports back. No big deal.
Then Said showed up. He looked angry and tired from not having slept all night. He spoke strongly to Mr. Sawy explaining the importance of advertising this show. Mr. Sawy was very apologetic and promised to put up lots of posters (two days before the show), to send out an e-mail, press releases and an SMS.

Said and Mr. Sawy forcing themselves to Smile

Said seemed to cheer up slightly but he still looked haggared. He said to me, “This whole thing – the rehearsal, the show, everything, I’m doing for you. I really want there to be a good concert with a nice audience for you.”
“Ein Shalla”
“Ein Shalla”

So that’s it. The crises (what’s the plural for crisis?) have past and the concert is still on (Ein Shalla)

Last night Andrea had a GREAT party at her awesome apartment. That girl really knows how to throw a party!

So right now , this very minute, remove that MANGO
from your mouth and give us THE REPORT about your BIG CONCERT last night .... of March 11th.
Today is March 12 , so get with " The Program."
OK , so I just took the liberty of booking you all
into Carnegie Hall , Makor , Joe's Pub , Lincoln Center , and that very cool laundromat on Bedford Ave. and South 3rd in Williamsburg. The only catch is that, I guess without permission I changed everyone's name to Raquy & The Felucca Femmes
featuring Saiid El Artiste ( which means The Cairo
Balady Banger must now relocate to Brooklyn ).
I have also told everyone in New York , South Carolina, New Mexico & Mississippi that I am your manager , and as such I get 77% of your "take."
A deal's a deal , and this one cannot be reversed.
Cest La Vie . It's better to receive than to give .
And it's even better to watch Buffy The Vampire
Slayer DVDS on a large screen tv , than to either give or receive. And Marjory , I did you a favor , I told both The Associated Press and the University that
you are taking a one year sabbatical , and you authorized me to take your place for the next
twelve months . Don't thank me , that's what friends are for . And Bashira , I can't even write the nice things I've done for you in your absence.
And Mariyah , you will never again be allowed to set foot in America . Start looking for a low rent apartment in Shubra . If you need help getting one ,
just contact .... Boab's R' Us. They are centrally
located at Tahrir Square , and the distant Heliopolis.
Oh , and there's gonna' be one opening up soon
in Zamalek . So nice to make my Cairo palz happy !!
THE RULES OF THIS GAME ...... You have ten seconds
to come up with words which rhyme with Aziz.
You can't use a word anyone else uses ,
THE WINNER's PRIZE : Whoever comes up with the
most words rhyming with Aziz , gets 100% of their
airfare refunded by Egypt Aiir , or whichever airline
you traveled on .

EXAMPLES : Words which rhyme with Aziz are .....
Sneeze , Wheeze , Stinky Cheese & Freeze .

2nd PLACE WINNER : ..... gets to keep Aziz' riq .

THE LAST PLACE LOSER : .... has to buy Aziz a new riq . Aziz is a good guy , and we should be nice to him !!!!!!!!!!

Contests are fun , I hope you like them as much as I do. Do you ?
Once again , your pal , Ira .
Your fans are waiting!!! Start posting (regular-sized) pics! PLEASE!

Sorry about the oversized pictures... my fault.
LOL! SORRY! I didn't mean the large, (insanely huge) pics were bad, they were just a little uncomfortable on the eyes. The ladies look amazing, as always. Please post some new pics (when possible)I've been coming back to this site every hour!

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